I'm a bit of a Mahler nut, to put it mildly. I know all of his symphonies, most of them intimately, particularly the 1st three, then 5th, 7th and 9th. I've seen them all live several times each, particularly the 1st and the 5th which are the most frequently performed. But I've never had the opportunity to get all the Mahler I can eat. Yet over the next five weeks, Gustavo Dudamel will lead the LA Phil and a visiting orchestra through all ten symphonies, and I've tickets to my six favorites, and will be accompanied by Ben, and, for some of them, a couple of friends.
The question is, will I feel anything. Or is even live Mahler not enough to put some velocity into my sodden neurons?
I was tempted just to end this blog right there, but that would be a little self-indulgent. The reason I haven't been writing my blog is because I'm flat out of inspiration and motivation. I'm still in the long depression that began .. let's see .. about 30 months ago. It cycles up and down, over six week periods, give or take, and I've been on a down draft since mid December. I get on with my life, I work, I read, I force myself to go to the gym, I read the New York Times, I meet with friends, I eat chocolate. I even laugh sometimes. The first new episode of Absolutely Fabulous got me going, the other day, particularly when Edina was dreaming about the original Danish version of AMC's The Killing, and burbling made-up Danish.
But overall, this depression thing is getting old. Really, really, really, really old.
|
